One of the most memorable aspects of studying abroad is the opportunity to live with a family native to your host country. Integrating yourself into a household with established dynamics where the primary language is likely different from your own is overwhelming at first, and getting used to the every day cultural differences can be bizarre. (I still don’t understand why clothes dryers are largely absent in this country.) In the end, though, the transformation from host family into surrogate family is a phenomenon that is bound to leave a lasting impression.
I studied abroad at SUF twice during my undergraduate years and lived with the same woman both times. My first semester here was through a program called Discovery Florence which allows freshmen to start college at the Villa Rossa. I’ve been enamored with Firenze for a huge portion of my life, and a lot of my major decisions are based on how I can get back to this city, so that program was perfect for me. Nevertheless, the day we were sorted into our host families was absolutely terrifying. I was just 18 and had never been away from home for longer than a month, and the thought of moving in with an Italian woman named Filomena and a junior from USC as my roommate definitely had my blood pressure through the roof. Turns out, though, that Filo would become one of the most important people in my life.
Filo and me in Cagliari, May 2012
Born and raised in Naples, Filomena definitely has the charm and vivacity that’s stereotypical of fiery Southern Italian women, and her hospitality knows no end. Aside from my roommate and me, it seemed like there were always guests in her house. Some of my favorite of Filo’s friends are a mother and daughter from Ancona, a man named Gino who is probably the nicest man on the planet, and a doctor from Sardinia who looks like Edna Mode.
Filo on our trip to Sardinia, May 2012.
In addition to being the perfect hostess, Filomena is also deeply spiritual and combines her Catholic faith with spirituality and love in such a beautiful way that just being in her presence feels like a divine gift. And that really says a lot coming from me. I grew up with no background in any particular religion, and while I believe that the core values at the base of all religions are pure and true, I find it difficult to understand people who have unwavering faith in a world where science and logic dominate and where it seems to me like organized religion causes more hate than tolerance. But through living with Filo, I learned that regardless of whether or not I go to church or believe in God, it pays off to believe in something.
Filo’s friend, Gino.
These are a few of Filo’s nuggets of wisdom that I believe in and try to live by.
- Love is the strongest force in the universe and transcends all religion. When you choose to direct positive thoughts towards others and emit kindness and love, the universe delivers it back to you.
- Every hardship and perceived negative occurrence serves the purpose of offering you a lesson and an opportunity to grow. If the same bad things keep happening to you, it means you haven’t learned the lesson yet.
- No one can control the future, and holding onto the past is counterproductive, so forcing yourself to be present is a worthwhile (and incredibly difficult) mental exercise.
- It is not selfish to put yourself first. When you take care of your mind, body, and spirit and do what’s best for you, that allows you to offer your best self to those around you and eliminate toxic relationships and situations from your life.
Filo <3
Studying abroad is an incredible way to open yourself up to meeting remarkable people like Filomena and challenging deep-rooted perceptions. The key is creating enough space in your heart to let the world rush in 🙂
